Monday, November 26, 2012

Oh.Em. Gee.

Before I even begin, can we count the number of things wrong with this picture??

Ohhh Britney.......where do I even start?

People has this picture on their Star Tracks slideshow today.  I could say that I'm shocked, but I'm not.  The only thing cute about this picture are Tater Tot and Small Fry.  And look, they're growing up!

Britney (and Jamie Lynn) on the other hand?  This is not good, y'all.

Britney is modeling what looks like a summer ensemble from Roses.  The too-tight sleeveless button-down and the vomit-colored denim shorts (hello?) look like they were purchased for a total of $12.99.  I love me some outlet stores, but if I'm going cheap it's going to at least look like I paid a penny for it.  And what's up with that wig?  Girl, get your stylist to straighten out those extensions and pull it back into a nice pony.  Now I'm not claiming to be some fashion connoisseur, but I know if I'm going out in public (even if it is to Walmart) I'm going to have on some pants that cover my ass, and a shirt that covers these girls up.

Jamie Lynn?  Geez.  The shirt would be cute with skinnies/jeggings and flats.....not Uggs.  Which brings me to my next two questions: 1) Who said it would look great if you paired your Uggs with denim cutoffs?; and  2) Is it really that much hotter in LA than everywhere else?
(FYI: I just searched and LA's High is 64 degrees.  Way too damn cold for booty shorts.  Bam.)

Britney, I am begging you.  Hire me to be your stylist!!  I would have you rocking jeggings, a long tunic with a scarf, and flats so fast you'd be giving Kate Middleton a run for her money.  Let's make this happen.

In other Monday news, it's time for our Dead Recap!  What what.
  • Michonne joined our favorite gang of Apocalypse survivors and Carol came back from the dead (or more like a prison cell).
  • Andrea is already totally obsessed with The Guv'nah.  Shocker.
  • Guy with glasses (forgot his name) thinks he can cure a zombie.  He learned his lesson....thanks to Andrea.  At least she's good for something.
  • Okay, I admit.  Merle's a psycho.  But if people would just answer his questions they wouldn't be put in the awful situations they're in: Glen and Maggie duct taped to chairs; Glen having to kill a zombie while stuck to a chair (impressive); Maggie almost getting raped while being stuck to a table.  Sorry, I would just tell Woodbury and company where Rick and camp are.  Baby Judith would be able to live safely (somewhat), Rick and the Guv'nah (as well as Daryl and Merle) could hash it out, and Michonne would just kill everybody.
Blah, blah, blah.  Last night was boring.  And honestly, I found myself checking my Twitter feed through the last 15 minutes of the show and I kinda don't know what else happened. Rut-roh.

I'll be better next Sunday!