Some days are harder than others....

Today being that day.  I woke up in a blah mood.  Overslept, had to jump out of bed, and literally only had time to wash my face and brush my teeth before Aaron got up and our morning routine began.  (FYI: I stayed up late watching Straw Dogs because my newest boyfriend happens to star in the movie.  Is this childish?  Yes.  Do I care?  No.  If someone could please come up with the airfare for a one-way ticket to Sweden that would be great.  Thanks.)  Anyhow, after trying to feed oatmeal to an almost-two-year-old (which is a pain in itself), I got us in the car, on the road, and both of us off to school.  Were my troubles over at that point?  Heck no.

Below is a list of things that have already happened today and it's not even 2:00 pm:

• Got to school, couldn't find a parking space and was 10 minutes late to class.  Classy.
• Got stuck talking to a chatty classmate and was almost late to my next class.  Why do I always make friends with the girl that has boyfriend drama?
• Got to next class and the discussion was the heart and how it works.  Fell apart and had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom and cry.  Do I know how the heart works?  Yes, I've done nothing but study a heart (my angel's heart, in fact) for the past two months.  I think I know how it works and when it doesn't work the way its supposed to.
• Went to Chick-fil-A dead-set on ordering a Chargrilled Chicken Salad.  At the last minute, ordered the number 1 combo because it's just one of those days.  At this moment feeling guilty......and sipping on some sweeeeetttttt tea.
• Came home to find that Sophie May had puked (what looks like leaves and mud) on my beige couch.  The puke was orange.  Seriously??  For all of y'all that don't know, Sophie May is my "Scheenie" (Shih tzu/ Dachshund mix) and she's a diva and a half.  

Looking at the list now, it doesn't seem that horrible.  Let's just say it's not one of my best days, K?  

 On the bright side:

• I ordered the Bare Minerals makeup kit to try again.....more like the third time.  This is the last time I will try it, and it better damn work.
• I am on book five of the Sookie Stackhouse series, and have six more to go.  I'm seriously going to go into a depression (like I did with Twilight) when the series is over.
• I'm having a Franklin and Rosemary boutique party Thursday night and I'm pumped for some hawt clothes. 
• Adam, Aaron, and I don't have to move until the end of February.  This works well in two ways: 1) It gives our house a little extra time to be on the market so if it sells we don't have to move; and 2) It gives us extra time to pack and not feel so rushed if we do have to move.
• Highlight of my day was an email from my sister's boss.  Here it is:  "Just wanted to share that Alec had a Jump Rope for Heart fundraiser for school and he raised $125 in honor of Luke Mosely... hope one day no one has to go thru what you went thru Hayley"  (Thank you so much Becky and Alec.  I hope no one has to go through this either.)  

Is 2:05 too early for a glass of Cab??

Ciao,
LL

Ch, ch, ch, ch, changes.......

I haven't posted since Sunday- five whole days.  Rut-roh.  I promised to do better, and I will get better.  I'm seriously bringing "the blog back," slowly but surely.

First of all, I want to say thank you to the people that responded to my last blog.  I had some friends email me to say that their preacher had preached a sermon that day about trusting God and listening to His plan.  (I knew I should have gotten my rear out of bed that morning for church!)  After speaking with them, and peeking at their notes about listening for His plan, we got an answer to our prayer.....

Adam and I are moving back to Macon at the end of this month.  We are both happy and sad.  Happy because we have friends and family there that mean the world to us; happy because we are eager to sell our home and wash our hands of it.  We are sad also; sad to leave my parents and good friends; sad to leave this house that we've fallen in love with.  But hey, that's life!  We prayed for God to give us an answer about where we needed to be, and he gave us an answer.  All because we gave it to Him, and we listened.  I won't lie, it wasn't the answer I wanted.  We have settled here, and although staying in this house and in this town was certainly not a long-term goal, we at least wanted to stay here until I finished school in December 2013.  But obviously, God has other plans for us and that's okay.  We'll make it- we've definitely been through much worse.

I think I might have some exciting news to share with y'all soon.  A possible business venture....whoop whoop!  Once I get all my ducks in a row I'll let y'all know what's going down.

Okay, moving on to fun things:

• Looks like "Bey had her beybey!"  Blue Ivy.  What a horrible name.  Bless her heart.  I'm sure shes beautiful.  She'll be a rapper and a dancer.  Nicki Minaj betta' watch out!  As a side note, I read that the maternity ward patients are complaining about B and J taking over a whole maternity ward, and security guards blocking off the nursery so they couldn't see their babies.  Do I think all of this is true?  No.  Do I think Beyonce's a diva and some of this is true?  Yep.  I guess we'll see.....

This is what Bey's hospital room looked like.  Are you serious??  This is nicer than any house I've ever been in!

Diva.

• Justin Timberlake is engaged.  Sadness.  I can't believe Jessica Biel gets to have his babies- that was supposed to be ME!!!!! ;)  All jokes aside, if Ryan Gosling marries Eva Mendes I'm literally throwing myself off a bridge.

•  The obsession with Eric AKA Alexander Skarsgard from True Blood has moved to next level.  I'm now on novel four of the Sookie Stackhouse series and I cannot.get.enough.  Ahhh!!!  This is the way more fun (and sexay) version of Twilight, folks!  If you haven't jumped on board, do it NOW!!!!!  I mean, the obsession has gotten serious.  Rpatz has been dumped.  Let's compare, shall we:

Um, hell yes.

This is pretty hot, too.

 Gotta get back to the real world....aka: grocery shopping.  Have a good day!

~LL

How do you know?

Uhhhh.....today has not been a good day.  It's not been awful, it just hasn't been good. 

It started out promising.  My in-laws kept Aaron last night, so although I should have been in church, I slept in until 9:30.  I had a good cup of coffee, and caught up on all of my Words with Friends games (as a side note, I'm obsessed).  I took a leisurely bubble bath, and actually was able to perfect the wavy hair look with my curling iron; it totally would make Sienna Miller jealous.  But still, my mind has been on a million different things.

You see, Adam and I are in a little bit of a predicament as far as our housing situation goes.  We are living in a house that we love in a town that grows on us every day, but we are renting.  The house we own is not occupied.  We had a fabulous tenant that moved out in December, and we are in the process of looking for a new tenant to take up residence in our home in Macon.  We have until the end of this month to find a tenant, and with that being said, a good tenant.

We have settled into our life here in Griffin.  I'm going to school, Aaron's going to preschool, and Adam's working.  Life has been good (aside from the past couple of months).  Although we've definitely had a rough go over the last few weeks, I feel that we have yet another hurdle to cross over the next few weeks, and that's figuring out what we're going to do if we have to move back to Macon.  Yes, we've been through worse, but I don't want to take Aaron out of a preschool with teachers and friends that he loves.  And with me being back in school, I'm not ready to move away at the very beginning of the semester and start over someplace else. Why does our lives always seem to be all over the place??

I was talking about everything with my mom, and trying to figure out what would be the best decision for our family when it hit me.....it's not my decision, it's God's.  He decides where I'm going to go and what I'm going to do.  It's just up to me to listen to what He wants.

I've always been real good about listening to what I want.  I didn't want to take college seriously over ten years ago and I ended up with a degree in communications that has led me nowhere because I'm back in school at 29; I wanted to move back to Griffin so bad last year that I found a tenant and moved out without thinking about the repercussions (i.e. what we're going through right now).  For goodness sakes, I got pregnant last summer without adequate planning and because I could, and now I've lost a child.  Let's just be honest here, I've been ALL about what I want, but what about what God wants for me?  Do you think I've taken just a moment to listen?  Not really..

So that leads me to my question, how do I listen?  I mean really listen for Him to tell me what He needs me to do.  How do I know when He's told me His plan??  I'm confused.  I want to make the right choices, and I want Him to tell me what He needs, but how??

How do you know what His plan is for your life?

Weekend Roundup

It's Saturday night and I'm blogging in my pj's.  Yep, this is the life.....lemme tell ya!  Actually to be honest, I'm enjoying myself.  It's been a low-key weekend so far and that's fine with me.  I did, however, make the mistake of ordering "Contagion" on PPV, and now am paranoid of walking out of the door.  Warning: if you're a major Germaphobe, DO NOT watch this movie- your life will never be the same!  (As a side note, Gwyneth P was in the movie, and don't get me wrong, she's a hottie, but I think Gwynnie might be showing her age.  Maybe it's time for a new hairdo instead of that same blonde hair parted down the middle look.  At this point, only the Kardashian sisters can pull that off.)

While Adam was busy "working for the weekend," Aaron and I went to visit my cousin, Jill, and his baby cousin, Mary Leigh.  They are only 5 months apart, and when they're together it's nothing but a major cutefest.  Here are some pics of them playing; be warned: the adorable factor is at it's highest:

I did a collage using the iphone app, Pic Collage.  I hope it works.....

I love when we can get them together.  They are at the cutest ages, and the way they interact is just priceless.  They hug, kiss, hold hands, and LOVE each other.  It literally makes my heart happy.  :)





Here's another pic to document our weekend; Sophie got her "haiiiirrr did":

I used effects on this pic because I look hein.  Sophie, of course, would not look at the camera.  Diva.

Adam and I celebrated one of my dearest friends 30th birthday last night.  I don't have any pictures of that because I'm a horrible picture taker, but I will say that if you end up having a dance party to old school "Back Dat Ass Up" you're having a good time. PCB 2000- what what!!


On a more serious song note, I was running errands yesterday and flipping through the songs on my Nano when Dixie Chick's "Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)" came on.  I was going to turn it, but I made myself listen to it.  I also made myself pull over because I was crying so hard.  I've never been able to listen to it without crying, but now, since the loss of our precious Luke, this song has taken on a different meaning.  If you've never heard it, YouTube it.  It's absolutely beautiful.  Here's a peek at the beautiful lyrics:

"Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Sweet dreams"

Godspeed, little man. :)


Okay, I'm crying so we need a change of subject and a good end to this post.  Sooooo.........

When's Bey gonna have her beybey??  Let's bet!!

                    

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                            

And the verdict is..........

A healthy heart for my Aaron Mo!!

Ahhh....I can breathe again!!  Let me just say, I wasn't under the impression that something was wrong.  I basically had an echocardiogram done on my bug's heart for simple peace of mind.  And, it was worth every pretty penny!  He does have to go back in two years for another ultrasound since there is now a history of heart disease in our family.  To tell you the truth, it doesn't bother me a bit.  The doctor (who I might add was just a personable, wonderful man) put me at ease as soon as he walked in the door.  He said, "Honey, your son's heart is fine.  He's healthy as a Georgia bulldog!"  I knew at that moment he was good stuff.  Thank you, God.


I celebrated the happy news with my girlfriends over dinner and drinks tonight.  We met at Grit's in Forsyth and I honestly did not want to leave.  I am so blessed to have the most amazing friends in my life, and tonight was no exception.  I decided to put my big girl panties on, and had a bourbon drink for dinner.  Y'all, I am not lying it was the best bourbon drink I've ever had!  It was called the "Porch Swing" and included mint leaves and something else......maybe lemonade??  I dunno.  Definitely not a Mint Julep but better.  I meant to take a picture (Btw, my iphone is basically the best camera I have.  Can anyone recommend any good and FREE photo apps to download?  I'm trying to document more...) but of course forgot.  Guess that means our GNO needs to come sooner than later, right ladies?  Because we "just gotta dance!"


Plus, I've gotta show off the bangs while they're still lookin' good and not a hot mess which I can say for a fact, will happen.  In case you don't know, the bangs and I have a very rocky relationship.    Just like a toxic relationship, I turn to them for comfort during the hard times and dammit, they always let me down.  But I keep coming back for more.......(the saga continues)........

It's 11:28 right now, and while I would LOVE to keep on typing, my brain keeps on wondering off to my room where my DVR holds the latest episode of Grey's.  I've got to find out how Teddy takes the news of Henry's death before I pass out asleep on this keyboard.  Will update tomorrow!

Loves!

~LL

One down, one to go

I went to see my doc for my "post-partum" check-up today.  I'm not gonna lie....it was rough.  Before I go into it, I have to say that I have the best doc in the world.  I discovered him through a friend when I made the move to Macon in 2006, and I'm so glad I did- he's fabulous.  His kindness, compassion, and support to me and Adam over the past month has literally blown my mind. 

I knew this appointment was going to be tough, so in order to make myself feel better I got gussied up and my hairr did (I got bangs- rut-roh, and lots of layers- pics tomorrow).  As soon as I was put into a room to meet with my doc, his nurse gave me a huge hug and apologized for what I had to go through over the past month.  Tear.  More like tears....I lost it- right in front of her.  She handed me a box of Kleenex and walked out.  Yep, this appointment was definitely going to lead to the ugly cry AKA buck-tooth, wailing out loud, can't catch your breath cry (we've all been there).  Greeeaaaatttt......

I won't go into all of the details because they would just bore you to death, but my doc and I discussed everything from birth control to getting pregnant again.  Adam and I have made the decision to wait awhile before trying for another child.  Honestly, it's more my choice than Adam's.  If it were up to him, we'd be pregnant again by this summer.  Me, not so much.  I need time to heal, not just physically but mentally.  We cannot go through what we just went through again, it's just not going to happen.  Before I get pregnant again, I want to be in the best shape of my life.  I want to spend the extra money to eat organically, and I want to be taking my prenatal vitamins months in advance before we even start trying.  Do I know if any of these things affected my baby's heart?  No, not for sure.  Is this disease something random that can happen to anyone?  Yes and no.  I say yes because there's no history of heart disease/defects in both mine and Adam's families.  Every doctor I met with over the past two months told me there was nothing that I did to cause this to happen; to not blame myself.  Of course, I believe them....to an extent.  I think there will almost always be a part of me that wonders if I had done this or that, would it have saved my baby boy?  I guess I'll never know....

I did find out two pieces of good news today, though.  One, my genetic screening revealed that I had no abnormal chromosomes/genes; basically everything was normal.  Two, my doctor feels that although there is a slight risk that our next baby could have a heart defect since Luke had one, the chances are very slim, like 5-6% slim.  In other words, our next baby could very well have a normal, full-functioning heart.  That was music to my ears. :)  Adam and I were talking the other night, and like it is often these days, the topic of getting pregnant again was brought up.  Adam made the comment that he felt that he wouldn't be able to be happy about the pregnancy until the mid-term mark hit, and we could find out if our baby was okay and growing as he/she needed to.  I don't know what came over me (well, actually I do; it was most definitely God), but I told Adam that there was no doubt in my mind that our next child would be healthy.  I just know in my heart that if there is another child in our future, God-willing, he or she will have a perfect heart.  

I dreaded this appointment today.  Although I am so glad that it's over with, I also feel better.  There's a plan in motion and I feel it.

Tomorrow is Aaron's precautionary echo-cardiogram.  I cannot emphasize precautionary any more.  I guess it makes me feel better to say that word.  Although 95% of me feels that everything is just fine, that 5% scares me to death.  I just want it over with and I want good news.  I'm a nervous wreck.  "I can do this," REPEAT, "I can do this....."

I'll let y'all know how tomorrow goes.....

~LL

Ohhh.....yeah.....

Over the past few months I'm ashamed to say that I've barely picked up my Kindle.  The same Kindle that I pitched such a fit to have last Christmas.  Up until the end of last month, the last time I read a book alone was in October when I purchased the second book in the Sookie Stackhouse series, "Living Dead in Dallas."  Between being a mommy/wife, going to school, and dealing with all that was happening with Luke, the last thing I wanted to do was read.  So at 9:00 pm on New Years Eve (yep, I'm actually copping to the fact that me and my husband are old farts), I turned the Kindle back on to finish my Sookie Stackhouse novel......... 

OMG.  I'm hooked on vampire novels.  Again.  And guess who the old crusharoo is now??  Well, I'll just let you take a look for yourself:

Hot damn!

Okay Sookie Stackhouse/True Blood fanatics: Which book and what season do Eric and Sookie hook.it.up??  I'm dying.  I meant what I said in yesterday's post:    I'm on a mission.  I'm actually considering asking the hubs if we can add HBO to our DirecTv programming.......it's getting serious up in here, folks. 
I definitely think a lil' Alexander Skarsgard can speed up the healing process.


I'm going to leave you today with a picture of my sweet lovebug brushing his teeth.  Ahhh, he makes life worth living!!!

Ciao,
LL

It's a new day!

Happy first Monday of the year!

I celebrated by buying myself 2 pairs of J Simp Jeggings- whoop whoop!  I'm excited to say I've gone down a size, so jean shopping was actually a pleasant experience today.  Here's to losing more weight and actually (and not just saying I'm going to) wearing a bikini this summer....Cheers!  Now, let's hope Adam doesn't look at our account anytime in the near future...

My week is already so busy.  With the exception of tomorrow, we have plans, doc appointments, dinners, parties, and etc. the rest of the week.  I go to the doc for a check-up Wednesday (blah) and Aaron heads to the doc for a heart scan Thursday.  Just typing that out makes me a nervous wreck.  Before I scare anyone, this is just a precautionary thing we are having to do because of Luke's precious heart.  There have been no signs at all that Aaron has any heart problems, we just have to check him.  If you are a praying person, send us some good thoughts Thursday.  I, of course, am freaking out because the last time we went to a heart doctor we heard news that broke our hearts.  Yes, I will be popping a Zantax Thursday morning.  Don't judge.

I need some book recommendations.  I'm reading the second book in the Sookie Stackhouse series, and while I love it, I'm getting impatient for her to hook up with Eric.  Does that even happen in the books?  I've got to get True Blood back on my Netflix que.....

Are y'all watching The Bachelor tonight??  I haven't decided if I'm going to get suckered in or not....Ben's just not interesting to me in the least. 

Yahoo is advertising your yearly horoscope.  With the exception of "reclaiming my singledom" and "having a baby," I think it looks pretty good.  Here it is (and go check yours out, too):

Gemini Outlook for 2012

Gemini

5/21 – 6/21

Year 2012 Overview

Another year of sweeping changes are in store, Gemini. If you thought last year was a whirlwind, hold the line. With an encore round of eclipse patterns hitting your constellation this summer, you're gearing up for the next level of transformation! Your personal image and intimate relationships will continue to change over the course of the next 12 months, so be ready for anything. If you're single, this could very well be the year you finally get hitched. If you're already betrothed, this is the year you could reclaim your singledom, buy a house or have a baby. Either way, you're moving toward the great unknown, so let go - and let the stars show you the way!
This is your year to finally regain that sense of discipline you swore you'd have at the start of last year. With Saturn moving into your sector of health and routines this year, you should be able to get a good grip on daily wellness practices. Healthy foods and consistent exercise will be key to pushing your vitality from acceptable to stellar. You'll need to be operating at maximum potential to navigate all the exciting changes just around the bend!
The other big news is that Saturn is finally leaving your romance and creativity sector in October. After many hard-earned lessons in love over the past two years, you're ready for a serious reprieve. You've certainly upgraded your standards, haven't you? Use this year to live the words that you preach in your relationships. Many people look up to you as a role model, so act accordingly. With Mars activating your domestic sector for a good portion of the year, you'll have plenty of intensity on the home front to contend with. If you're not happy with your current living quarters, this is the year to put energy into making that change.

Have a good night, friends!

 

~LL