Sunday, January 8, 2012

How do you know?

Uhhhh.....today has not been a good day.  It's not been awful, it just hasn't been good. 

It started out promising.  My in-laws kept Aaron last night, so although I should have been in church, I slept in until 9:30.  I had a good cup of coffee, and caught up on all of my Words with Friends games (as a side note, I'm obsessed).  I took a leisurely bubble bath, and actually was able to perfect the wavy hair look with my curling iron; it totally would make Sienna Miller jealous.  But still, my mind has been on a million different things.

You see, Adam and I are in a little bit of a predicament as far as our housing situation goes.  We are living in a house that we love in a town that grows on us every day, but we are renting.  The house we own is not occupied.  We had a fabulous tenant that moved out in December, and we are in the process of looking for a new tenant to take up residence in our home in Macon.  We have until the end of this month to find a tenant, and with that being said, a good tenant.

We have settled into our life here in Griffin.  I'm going to school, Aaron's going to preschool, and Adam's working.  Life has been good (aside from the past couple of months).  Although we've definitely had a rough go over the last few weeks, I feel that we have yet another hurdle to cross over the next few weeks, and that's figuring out what we're going to do if we have to move back to Macon.  Yes, we've been through worse, but I don't want to take Aaron out of a preschool with teachers and friends that he loves.  And with me being back in school, I'm not ready to move away at the very beginning of the semester and start over someplace else. Why does our lives always seem to be all over the place??

I was talking about everything with my mom, and trying to figure out what would be the best decision for our family when it hit me.....it's not my decision, it's God's.  He decides where I'm going to go and what I'm going to do.  It's just up to me to listen to what He wants.

I've always been real good about listening to what I want.  I didn't want to take college seriously over ten years ago and I ended up with a degree in communications that has led me nowhere because I'm back in school at 29; I wanted to move back to Griffin so bad last year that I found a tenant and moved out without thinking about the repercussions (i.e. what we're going through right now).  For goodness sakes, I got pregnant last summer without adequate planning and because I could, and now I've lost a child.  Let's just be honest here, I've been ALL about what I want, but what about what God wants for me?  Do you think I've taken just a moment to listen?  Not really..

So that leads me to my question, how do I listen?  I mean really listen for Him to tell me what He needs me to do.  How do I know when He's told me His plan??  I'm confused.  I want to make the right choices, and I want Him to tell me what He needs, but how??

How do you know what His plan is for your life?