Saturday, November 6, 2010

Dear Jessica

Dearest Jess,

I guess you've heard the news: Your ex-hubby and Vanessa Minnillo are gettin' hitched.  As soon as I read this late-breaking news on People, I immediately felt sad for you.  I hope that you're doing okay, and not too heartbroken.  Even though I think Vanessa M will totally make Nick happy, I will always miss the Newlywed days.  The days before The Dukes of Hazzard, rumors of hook-ups with Bam Margera, the dreadful "mom jeans,"  the embarrassing and super-cheesy "Public Affair" video, and your "sexual napalm" (you go girl) with John Mayer.  I will fondly remember your chicken/fish confusion, love for your "Louis" while camping, the fact that you don't eat "buffalo," the fabulous pink, floppy hat that you wore when you and Nick attended The Kentucky Derby,  the hilarious dolphin ride you took on the Bahamas trip, and your yummy Dessert line, among the many other hilarious memories Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica left behind.  In my heart (and through videos on YouTube), you and Nick will live on forever, my friend.